it again, i do not like to look at myself anymore because of it…:(

wanted from me, now it is going back to ignoring me…don’t care much because it is my fault that it is the way it is because i did not stick what i said i was going to do but from now on i am! so oh well about the past because is the future as tomorrow is as yesterday…still very upset with myself…my roommate told not to think about but it is hard not to dwell on it because i allowed this to happen, it is initially my fault…smh *sigh* hating myself at the moment  

then realizing the lack of friends you and then realizing the ones you need to make, lonely night for me. my best friend lives out of state and i don’t have one here sooo yay…..not oh well life goes on, right lol

I forgot what feels to be lonely, 

what it feels to not have any company,

i took advantage of the company i was given,

now i sit here wondering,

why was i so wanting to return when the feeling

feeling of be alone crept up an stayed up in me. 

Hit with reality, this is what it feels like to be lonely again

because I forgot to eat, went tanning, I haven’t worked yet, this is my 2nd day of not working out which is upsetting. My knee is still in a lot of pain to bend, or anything of the sort, maybe my dad will want to go for a walk or maybe go to the soccer fields and kick the soccer ball around, or do some laps around the field. I can suck the pain for soccer lol hmmm or maybe I’ll just stay in and do some abdominal, legs, arm and work on my annoying love handles bahahhahaha. So maybe I failed yesterday but today I am a winner as much as ever, the sun is brightly shining and I am smiling :)

judge people, do anything you want but still you are seen as aww your perfect. but if i do anything out of line you think of me as wtf you are a shizzy person, i wont talk to you, blah blah blah blah F ALL YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS!!! DAMN!!!! Now I have to come back to this in the coming time ugh!!!! I like the fakeness of people at this moment…